So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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