I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
