Me too!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
