what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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