So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
