I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
