i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Found the puke drawer
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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