Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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