Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Randomize
