My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
