im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
