Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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