The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
