i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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