Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

I looked at my own cervix.

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(352): View more from Florida

dude they were twins that means they were both only 17

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(646): View more from New York

He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers

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(248): View more from Michigan

When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?

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(630): View more from Illinois

how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.

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