dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
