I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize