you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
