I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize