This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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