his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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