out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
