take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My breasts were aching with rage.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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