names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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