8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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