i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
