Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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