farters have to be the big spoon...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
