Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
