he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
