margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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