almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
