If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
