If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
