smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sorry about my life...
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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