last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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