Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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