but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
