im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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