RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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