I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
