OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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