Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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