First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
