im having a threesome with these popsicles
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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