TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
No I am not eating basil off your cock
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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