As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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