You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
