I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
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i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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