Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
