I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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