I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
