this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
