Soap is not a condiment
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
