I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
