The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize