I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
