I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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