wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
