Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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