I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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